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An "interesting and subtle" hand? My slowest hand If Only it was a Sims.
A 9-point sac gets a top. My Plaintive Lament What would you bid?
Our Best Misunderstanding. Double Trouble The Wrong Slam
Blackpool Sour Two Lucky Slams Double Negative and Positive


(I have a feeling Peter was inspired by me to write this, when I was his partner)

The menagerie of Mollo
is an act that's hard to follow,
Unique and irreplaceable, his crew -
There's the Hog, and there's the Rabbit,
who's a very useful habit
Of finding coups unknown to me and you.
Yet my own private hunch is,
this anthropomorphic bunch is
Incomplete, or lacking, so to speak.
There's an unsung Griffin-creature,
one who really ought to feature.
I know it's true - I play with him each week.
As defender or declarer
you'll find no-one who is squarer:
His card play never gives one cause for blame.
But bidding! Optimistic?
Well, he's far from realistic:
"In duplicate you've got to Gopher game!"
His crazy calling antics
would disgrace the Late Romantics:
He doesn't know what moderation means.
He's up there blithely slamming
(whilst I his eyes am damning)
On hands that just ain't worth a hill o' beans.
As my poor brow is furrowing,
the Gopher goes on burrowing:
"I thought I ought to Gopher it," he'll smile.
"But for three unlucky guesses
and those four offside finesses
It would have been a top by half a mile!"
His charm is quite disarming;
but our bridge results? Alarming!
I'll never make Club Master (once my goal);
As slowly I unravel a
most disappointing traveller,
I know I'm with the Gopher, in a hole.

Peter Rowlett